Popped Cherries

I woke up today and realized, quite frankly, I’m a fuck up.
It’s one of those things you don’t ever want to admit about yourself, but once the evidence piles on itself over and over, it’s a bit hard to avoid.
How many times do you need to check your bank account balance and see it’s overdrawn for the 4th time in a month to understand the merits of a budget?
Is there a limit to how much money you try to extract from your parents before you might want to understand that life line won’t always be there?
Can you get your license suspended 3 or more times before it’s beaten into your head you might want to take care of those tickets and taxes?
How many pointless jobs can you go through before you finally realize you have the ability for more if you just go for it with your all?
How can you be handed a game plan on a silver platter, the means to execute, and the time to follow through, yet just sit there frozen? Blank.
What does it take to finally get the push you need?
Is it horror?
Is it pain?
Is it loss?
Is it happiness?
Pride?
Love?
Sex?
Hope?
Money?
Nothingness?
Is it anything?
How can you be so…yet so…
How will it all end?
Will it ever end?
What becomes of the ones who want, but never do?
I don’t suppose you hear about them all that often.
The voice of the chosen voiceless….

What talent.
What promise he shows.
What a future he has in front of him.
You’ll only see this sort of thing once in your lifetime.
If there was ever a time to be a fan, this would be that time. It doesn’t get any better than this.
These comments, they’ve never been directed towards my life. It has never been an easy road. Never a downhill fall. Always an uphill climb.
It’s preferred though. Who doesn’t like a good challenge. Who can’t say they’ve been at their best when they are pushed to their limits. Safety is boring. Mystery is my Muse.
At some point though, your Muse is killed. You’re left with your own devices. Your strengths and every ant hill of weakness.
How can you survive when your driving force is now gone? What’s left to push you towards your best?
Some say religion. Some say money. Some say love. Some say lust. Some are just silent.
You chase the dragon you once rode. Wanting the sunsets you once worshiped.
Or you die. Your promise gone, your memories distant.
Your life, nothing but a pile of dust.
Death must come and kill us all.
But it won’t come for me.
I’ll cheat it’s touch.
I’m eternal.

I’ve wasted my talent, my time, my effort with nothing to show for it but empty fists raised late at night. Cursing the sparkles in the sky. Who can  live like that. I can’t anymore.
I’ve spent the last 2 months with nothing but time, potential, and limitless chances to over come.
It’s time to put away the self doubt and the endless array of excuses and the good ideas that always stay just that.
Don’t ever doubt me again you’ll miss it all.
I’m coming out of my hibernation to start anew. It’s been a long time coming, but I can honestly say it’s the last time I can realistically let it slip.