Popped Cherries

I woke up today and realized, quite frankly, I’m a fuck up.
It’s one of those things you don’t ever want to admit about yourself, but once the evidence piles on itself over and over, it’s a bit hard to avoid.
How many times do you need to check your bank account balance and see it’s overdrawn for the 4th time in a month to understand the merits of a budget?
Is there a limit to how much money you try to extract from your parents before you might want to understand that life line won’t always be there?
Can you get your license suspended 3 or more times before it’s beaten into your head you might want to take care of those tickets and taxes?
How many pointless jobs can you go through before you finally realize you have the ability for more if you just go for it with your all?
How can you be handed a game plan on a silver platter, the means to execute, and the time to follow through, yet just sit there frozen? Blank.
What does it take to finally get the push you need?
Is it horror?
Is it pain?
Is it loss?
Is it happiness?
Pride?
Love?
Sex?
Hope?
Money?
Nothingness?
Is it anything?
How can you be so…yet so…
How will it all end?
Will it ever end?
What becomes of the ones who want, but never do?
I don’t suppose you hear about them all that often.
The voice of the chosen voiceless….

So this is what it feels like to stick to a schedule, commit to doing something, and actually following through with it. Interesting.
It’s sad that I’ve finally figured out the underlying motivation needed for writing in this blog on a weekly basis when the top billing story is that the world as we know it is going to be gone tomorrow.
On May 21st, 2011 the rapture is going to take place. That is, if you  believe in that sort of thing. Not just the Christian part, but religion across the board.
I used to be very involved with the matters of faith. I’ve gone to church willingly and excitedly. I’ve prayed my heart out. I’ve sung the mighty songs of salvation and love.
I’ve also seen all of the wonderful nonsense that goes along with belonging to a religion. Belonging to a group.
It’s the ultimate of mindfucks. It’s one of the last tenants that is segregating the world into cliques instead of moving past fairy tales and myths towards the actual betterment of our species.
I understand the want, the need to be attracted to what others are doing. Everyone feels it. Being an outsider, an outcast, an unwanted, isn’t fun at all.
Having a world wide banner to attach your name, who wouldn’t want that kind of comfort, that feeling of being needed.
I digress.
The matter at hand though is quite simple. The world will continue to exist far past May 21st, 2011. It will exist far past Oct 21st, 2011. It will exist past Dec 21st 2012.
The sad fact is that people are going to continually seek the end. We as humans aren’t really good at imagining things beyond our own scope of understanding and our own scope of sight.
If it doesn’t affect our immediate surroundings, it may hold some significance, but for the most part it is just brushed aside as being inconsequential.
One of the things we gravitate to is the end. Always looking for the completion. A task. A book. The movie of the week. We always want to know what’s going to happen.
When that option isn’t available, we cram it into something we can work with.
This leads to prophetic number and date wringing . “New” interpretations of ancient text. Nature lining up showing us something interesting, but ultimately nothing more than a coincidence.
I’ll be glad when this world exists for another 1000 years and we can finally distance ourselves from all of these ancient texts.
When time will hopefully outlive stupidity.